WHY SO SERIOUS! An ER/BH guide to Islam in MSpaint

[jewdozer]

Yes I've re-threaded it.
This is the finished version which we are very happy with, complete with linked frames, yes, hidden behind those uberpics are tasty little treats.

This time Brawl-halls very own reichfuhrer, Danger added her bit.
The flaming and negative feedback here pushes us to try harder and I like it so please give us some more. Spare me the usual spam bullshit and give me something worth replying to if you are going to flame or troll. Enjoy...

Introduction

In this modern world, one thing hasn't changed since ancient times, Muslims still like killing people. In our guide to Islam we will be revealing many secrets about this violent culture. (hint hidden links under ze frames)

 

Part 1: Origins

Muslims hate Jews, they hate everyone but Jews in particular. As much as we agree with this, the irony is, they originated from the Jewish faith. The son of Abraham, Ishmael, is considered to be the point at which Islam broke away from the Jews. Although Ishmael was a wicked man the truth is they developed from pagan Baal worship in ancient Babylon anyway.

 

Muhammad was the prophet who wrote the Koran. Little is known about him other than that he was a pork eating homosexual who had smoked too much grass, wrote the koran,(an autobiography of self loathing waffle) that eventually led to the creation of a fanatical, hate driven nation of terrorists. He is said to have blown himself up in a school with explosives in latter half of the 7th century.

 

Part 2: Doctrine and culture

Who here doesn't like a juicy pork sandwich and a bottle of fine beer? Apparently Muslim's tell us they don't, or so they'd have you believe. The pig is considered an unclean animal and alcohol is banned, well, officially. In most communities there are secret pork bars where swine and alcohol can be bought on the quiet. It's a bit like those dark family incest secrets that everybody knows, but avoids talking about.

 

The Muslim faith believes in monotheism. The belief is that Allah descended from a frog. Apparently he was living in a pond near Mecca in an alternate world inhabited by faggots and some sick fuck decided to kiss him to see if he turned into a 'queen'. Sadly he turned into a homosexual. You see it was his first same sex kiss which caused an infinite black hole void to implode and create the world from the torrent of sex piss that exploded from his meatstick.
They preach that because Allah sinned in such a horrible way, it means he can sympathize with our sins when judging us, this is why the fables of Allah paint him as a killing, raping, lying, cheating, homosexual that was washed up on booze and crack.

 

Muslims hate women. The Koran teaches us that women are the waste product of a miscarriage. This is why many major rivers in Islamic countries such as the banks of the Tigris are littered with dead baby girls. They teach that your sins will cause bad luck and the curse of Allah will prevent you from bearing a male. How they think the human race would survive without women is not explained.

 

The social class of women is said to be somewhere below the dog. In fact some animals are revered and almost worshipped...or is that the Hindu's? Who gives a fuck! Islamic law commands women to dress like ninja's for some reason. They call this head covering the burka but whatever it is, theory has it that it was brought in because all Middle Eastern women are pig ugly. Women can't vote because Islamic men say a dog that bleeds for three weeks cannot be trusted with matters of state but they are expected to do all the work and wait on man's every desire.

 

Masturbation is considered a filthy practice and is punishable by death (unless supervised inside a mosque). Many Muslims have the name Allah tattooed on their hand to stop them masturbating but it just means rather than doing it in public parks, they have to do it in private to ensure the mobile morality police don't catch them. If women are given permission to flick their bean in a mosque, the 'ninja' head covering must be worn.

 

Islam tells us that Allah loves you. That really depends on which 'you' we are talking about. If you are female, forget it, if you are straight, in your dreams and if you are white, you have no chance. As we've already established, Allah is a homosexual and commands all Muslims to kill the kaffir (white pig) with the sword.

 

The five pillars of faith.
The five pillars of faith are duties each Muslim performs to demonstrate his faith.

• Accepting that there is no god other than Allah and beheading anyone who doesn't agree.

• Praying 15 times a day to god that doesn't exist.

• Almsgiving, where Muslims are required by Islamic law to give fifty percent of their income to fund weapons of mass destruction.

• Fasting, to prove you are a sanctimonious, pious prick who likes to impress people by pointlessly starving yourself to near death.

• Pilgrimage to Mecca or exposing your bare genitals east to satisfy the homosexual pig-god Allah's insatiable desire for men.

 

[jewdozer]

The rules of decency in most Islamic countries are different to ours. The age of consent is as low as eight years old in some countries. Inter-marriage between blood relatives is not uncommon. It's believed that marrying inside the family strengthens the family bond and makes for a secure future. Marrying your sister who is only eight years old is a very difficult tradition for westerners to understand for some reason.

 

Part 3: Know your enemy

To defeat an enemy we must be aware of how he behaves and works. By examining previous acts of terrorism we can protect ourselves against further attack. We had the Muslim invasion of the holy lands in the days of the crusades, the destruction of the world trade centre, the use of weather machines to cause hurricane Katrina, the atom bomb and weapons of mass destruction, the banning of pork and alcohol, censorship and the prohibition of the freedom of speech and bringing Islamic law to countries where freedom of choice and expression are accepted. They also use suicide dog bombers.

 

Islam is denial, its self obsession, fanaticism and tunnel vision. What they don't tell you is that mosques are really a front for organized crime. Inside these places are the most disgusting, degrading acts ever to have been carried out and happening on a regular basis. They are usually whore houses with bars serving alcohol, unclean meat, book burning, hate talk, unlicensed gambling, dealing in illegal weapons and various other homosexual deviancies. Inside sources reveal that men also like urinating on each other which is why paki's smell of piss.

 

Conclusion

We have given a quick analysis of this violent religious offshoot from Judaism so you can protect yourselves against any potential attack from its followers. Knowledge is power, to defeat them we must use their weapons and tactics on them. Go bomb a mosque or maybe behead some school kids.

 

Project director
Jewdozer

Text
Jewdozer

Art
Ajaa
Danger(uberforum Brawl-Hall!)
Happyman
Jewdozer
Marc
Vernar
Walterbarret

[The Iron Duke]

'capped and emailed to Sarah Palin to help her understand The Foreign.

This should be read in every school in Christendom. A modern classic and up there with The Brothers Karamazov. Well done.

[Schulz]

Originally Posted by jewdozer Yes I've re-threaded it. This is the finished version which we are very happy with, complete with linked frames, yes, hidden behind those uberpics are tasty little treats. This time Brawl-halls very own reichfuhrer, Danger added her bit. The flaming and negative feedback here pushes us to try harder and I like it so please give us some more. Spare me the usual spam bullshit and give me something worth replying to if you are going to flame or troll. Enjoy...

In creative terms, it's pretty much the same.

What happened to the old thread and the comments?

You were quite nice and humble when accepting guidance then.

You claim that feedback pushes you to try harder--does that mean try harder as in "delete"? Or have you been reprimanded by your BH sponsors for appearing weak in public?

Iron Duke, your staunch supporter, would not be happy with that.

[The Iron Duke]

Originally Posted by Schulz In creative terms, it's pretty much the same. What happened to the old thread and the comments? You were quite nice and humble when accepting guidance then. You claim that feedback pushes you to try harder--does that mean try harder as in "delete"? Or have you been reprimanded by your BH sponsors for appearing weak in public? Iron Duke, your staunch supporter, would not be happy with that.

Au contrair ma cher. I Dumpstered Jewdozers original post because I was off my tits on Krug and Bolivian Flake and having a wank whilst abusing my Mod panel. I have apologised to Jewdozer and The Glorious Leader Doomsday (peace be upon His name) and they have graciously accepted my apology.

Long Live The Glorious Leader, eh?

Now, do you have any other nit-picking panty-waist fucking fairy bullshit poxy complaints about your BH experience you twatdangle?

PM me.

[Schulz]

Originally Posted by The Iron Duke Au contrair ma cher. I Dumpstered Jewdozers original post because I was off my tits on Krug and Bolivian Flake and having a wank whilst abusing my Mod panel. I have apologised to Jewdozer and The Glorious Leader Doomsday (peace be upon His name) and they have graciously accepted my apology. Long Live The Glorious Leader, eh? Now, do you have any other nit-picking panty-waist fucking fairy bullshit poxy complaints about your BH experience you twatdangle? PM me.

Who said it was a complaint? Your antics when feeling humilliated are nothing new, and don't have any effect on me whatsoever rather than smile with understanding; my kindness is legendary and I do care about my retards. "I really fucking do."

I was just wondering what happened to those comments that jewdozer was kind enough to thank.

Next time you feel like boasting of mod abuse you should remember that your subsequent moaning about Danger, your superior, makes you look like a twat, like some grotesque version of a mediocre middle manager from The Office, getting neither the promotion nor the girls, and being regularly humiliated.

May I take this opportunity to wish you have a nicer day.

[The Iron Duke]

Twatdangle deflection noted.

Now fuck off.

[Schulz]

Originally Posted by The Iron Duke Twatdangle deflection noted. Now fuck off.

What deflection, Pikey?

It's got to be yours, the bragging abusive mod who bitches like a raped schoolboy when Danger exerts her authority over him, in a pattern reminiscent of manic depression.

Now be a bit more humble or I might have to punish you, so you have to hide as a Paki n00b.

[jewdozer]

Originally Posted by Schulz In creative terms, it's pretty much the same. What happened to the old thread and the comments? You were quite nice and humble when accepting guidance then. You claim that feedback pushes you to try harder--does that mean try harder as in "delete"? Or have you been reprimanded by your BH sponsors for appearing weak in public? Iron Duke, your staunch supporter, would not be happy with that.

I'll flame with you when I'm good and ready, it won't be in here. The other thread was dumped in the chop area I think to make room for this finished product. This guide like I said is not an example of literary gymnastics but rather a light hearted FACTUAL guide to Islam. I doubt BH staff are pissed off with anything here due to one of them submitting a frame for it.

On the subject of the Iron duke, may blessings be upon him like the weight of my body bearing down upon the cold corpse of your mother. The Iron duke is a man of class and taste,
HEIL DER IRON DUKE!

On the subject of feedback, I might seriously consider bringing the text here first to fine tune it before the art even starts. We are looking at doing 'rape' or 'murder' next, two very popular Islamic passtimes.

[Schulz]

Originally Posted by jewdozer I'll flame with you when I'm good and ready, it won't be in here. The other thread was dumped in the chop area I think to make room for this finished product. This guide like I said is not an example of literary gymnastics but rather a light hearted FACTUAL guide to Islam. I doubt BH staff are pissed off with anything here due to one of them submitting a frame for it. On the subject of the Iron duke, may blessings be upon him like the weight of my body bearing down upon the cold corpse of your mother. The Iron duke is a man of class and taste, HEIL DER IRON DUKE! On the subject of feedback, I might seriously consider bringing the text here first to fine tune it before the art even starts. We are looking at doing 'rape' or 'murder' next, two very popular Islamic passtimes.

You won't flame shit, little fella.

My mother would be dead cold, for sure, if having on her a miniature pervert like you.

Iron Duke... well I agree you have to be kind to him. This is his life, you know, when he raises his staring eyes from the computer he's got some Godzilla wife and some stupid children, the kind that are more expensive to maintain than an Aston martin: a veritable curse indeed, a load on his soft English shoulders to be carried until judgement day.

I suppose that as Muslims are such famed practitioners of rape and murder, some of your favourite subject matters, you must admire them and hence the incongruity of criticising them.

[jewdozer]

Originally Posted by Schulz You won't flame shit, little fella.

HITLERSAURUS SAYS........

 

Don't say I never give you anything.

[Fat piece of shit]

HaHahaha

[Schulz]

Originally Posted by jewdozer HITLERSAURUS SAYS........ Don't say I never give you anything.

Your efforts to produce a tribute to me in the thread where you claimed you wouldn't have been duly noted. You should have asked for a real pic, though. As it is it's no where enough flammage.

I'm glad that you provide evidence that you can't take criticism, and, well, I am glad too that you are fully engaged with your occupational therapy. Coloured pencils, plasticine, all that kind of thing has kept many a retard happy and harmless.

And as a bonus, you have managed to make a friend, the Fatso, whose earnest and principled criticism of your "art" has been forgotten as i have bitchslapped him elsewhere.

Everybody is a winner.

[jewdozer]

Originally Posted by Schulz Your efforts to produce a tribute to me in the thread where you claimed you wouldn't have been duly noted. You should have asked for a real pic, though. As it is it's no where enough flammage. I like dogporn.

Yes quite right, the masterpiece above was a tribute and a dedication rather than a flame.

By the way, have you ever tucked your nuts behind your legs and stood in front of the mirror? Have you ever put a plastic freezer bag over your thumb and anally penetrated yourself?

If you do have any real pics of yourself that I could drag my artistic genitals over, I'd be very greatful, I can make the above happen.
In the meantime, post another reply and hopefully I'll respond before your finger wears off from hitting the refresh key.

[Schulz]

Originally Posted by jewdozer Yes quite right, the masterpiece above was a tribute and a dedication rather than a flame. By the way, have you ever tucked your nuts behind your legs and stood in front of the mirror? Have you ever put a plastic freezer bag over your thumb and anally penetrated yourself? If you do have any real pics of yourself that I could drag my artistic genitals over, I'd be very greatful, I can make the above happen. In the meantime, post another reply and hopefully I'll respond before your finger wears off from hitting the refresh key.

You must be of course ready to dispose of a generous amount of cash. And yes, I assure you that the pics will be real.

Now you are not being very professional with that emotional attachment you are developing, are you, little fella?

[Fat piece of shit]

what a whiner you are, you said he couldn't flame you and he did, now you're his bitch. Skinny little tranny bitch who tries to cover up its bad lies with lots of words. Faggot, eat some stew from my ass

[Schulz]

Originally Posted by Fat piece of shit what a whiner you are, you said he couldn't flame you and he did, now you're his bitch. Skinny little tranny bitch who tries to cover up its bad lies with lots of words. Faggot, eat some stew from my ass

Hallelujah, Fatso is back to his funny gimmick, although he keeps confusing it: before heteros, and now trannys.

Even jewdozer has admitted that that was not a flame, Homo Retardus.

Welcome back, anklebiter, anyway. You have become my follower. One bitchslap works as a treat. What's your excuse to be in this thread, when you have criticised him before, and you are not even bothering to pretend that you are contributing?

[Fat piece of shit]

Flaming you is funny because you get all spazzed out but I didn't come here to be funny I came here to drive little whiners like you up a wall, and its working.

[Schulz]

Originally Posted by Fat piece of shit Flaming you is funny because you get all spazzed out but I didn't come here to be funny I came here to drive little whiners like you up a wall, and its working.

Airclaim 101. "Get slapped, follow your torturer to other threads, and claim he's melting'

[Fat piece of shit]

I looked up airclaim on urban dictionary and your loser slang isn't there. stop making up stupid words when real ones fail you