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  *The News* Free Anders Behring Breivik  

Hero of Freedom

On the 22nd of July 2011 the headquarters of the Anders Behring Breivik rape victim sanctuary, situated on the island of Utoya, Norway witnessed total carnage. A day before, Anders was arrested in connection with a bombing of a mosque, disguised as a government building in Oslo where nothing of value was lost (11 people). The members of his island sanctuary have all committed mass suicide by either shooting themselves or throwing themselves into the sea and drowning.

Decorated war hero and contributor to charity events Anders Breivik

The police have issued a statement that reports so far the discovery of 84, naked bodies all connected by their sexual organs laid out on the ground to form a message which reads "FREE ANDERS BEHRING BREIVIK" which can only be seen from the air. The authorities claim the grizzly discovery only came to light after bodies started washing up on the beaches at the mainland which were surplus to the formation of the message.

Police are still pulling Breivik's supporter's bodies out of the water.

Breivik's supporters have issued a video and documents with demands for Oslo's most prestigious award, the 'Nobel Peace Prize' for Breivik with a list of academics supporting his bid. The vid can be found here and the 1500 page pdf document can be found here.

Everybody get the fuck down.

Heads of state have all condemned the situation in Norway and have called on the government to intervene in Breivik's behalf. US president, Apeface said at a press conference: "The US stands shoulder to shoulder with voices of freedom and human rights and Anders Breivik should be released at once if the Norwegian government wants to be part of the modern, developed world." European leaders echoed the President's words except Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi who could not give a statement because his face was stuffed in an underage, niggers muff.

posted by jewdozer
Comments: 15 | Views: 112
  Most Annoying TV Character  
Some characters are so goddamn annoying they can single-handedly ruin an otherwise good TV show. You know the ones. Now its time to vote one as the absolute worst of the worst. To qualify, the show has to be decent; I'm sure there are plenty of terrible characters on crappy shows, but they're easy to avoid.

The nominees:

Lisa Simpson

The Simpsons was a good show for its time, replete with entertaining characters such as Mr Burns, Willie the janitor, Krusty the Clown, etc. Lisa-heavy episodes were never good. Liberal, vegetarian, pretentious, incessant complainer - I dunno why the producers of the show couldn't figure out a way to get rid of her. By being a main character on such a mainstream show she gave other girls the idea that her behavior was acceptable. Its not. Fuck whiny liberal vegetarian cunts who always know what's best for others. With your dick, not mine.

Kyle Broflofski

"You know, I've learned something today." *shudders* Another buttfucking moralfag. The show has classic characters like Cartman, Randy and Butters to work with, yet Matt and Trey insist on making Kyle a central character in almost every episode. How does that lamer manage to stay friends with the rest of the guys? They have nothing in common with that boring dipshit. I wish they'd kill him off like they did Kenny, I don't need to be constantly reminded that Cartman's schemes are morally questionable, thanks. That's what makes them funny. Fuck Kyle.

Calamity Jane

Brawl-Hall needs more lamers like Deadwood needs more Calamity Jane. Every time she opens her mouth I cringe. I torrented all 3 seasons of Deadwood and always skip a few minutes down the line when she comes on screen. All that show needs is Al Swearengen maniacally ranting about murdering people while he gets his dick sucked and drinks whiskey. I know Calamity Jane was a real person who was in fact in Deadwood but that doesn't mean she should've been a central figure in every goddamn episode. They showed her tits in one episode and I looked away. That's never happened before, the bitch is straight-up boner killer. Gross.

Lisa Tyrant

Speaking of boner killer. Would it kill this twat to shut her fucking mouth for five goddamn minutes? I hope so. I know BH ain't on TV, but Tyrant has been on the Jerry Springer show three times. I defended Tyrant's banning the other day but only because I want to see Saint Bastard stripped of his panel, it was actually the right thing to do. She's a spammer and a hater and the fact she's kinda cute makes it all that much worse. Fuck you Tyrant, I hope you miscarry three months into your next pregnancy.


I'm obviously too cool to watch Battlestar Galactica. But if I weren't, and I did, I would point out that the original Starbuck was a dude. The networks decided it would be super to make the tough guy fighter pilot ace into a chick who got to punch Col. Tigh in the face with impunity. Even worse was the time she fucked Gaius. Yeah, make the action hero an effeminate douchebag's fuck toy. Awesome! Thank fuck for Progressives, eh?

Any damn ways, vote for one of the above shitstains or nominate another. I doubt you could top any of those though...

posted by SirSuperSouthern
Comments: 24 | Views: 1426
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