Brawl-Hall Tips For Online Dating
By - That Dastardly Man
Tips for Online DatingAnyone who chuckled at the recent clumsy, pitiable and desperate flirting between Amy and Bailey Hankins in this
forum will have pondered the question: what scale of irreversible mental illness must a woman be afflicted with to date online? Why would she want to bring some guy home who is sure to start touching himself as soon as a picture of a school bus comes on TV? By the way, Amy seems to have disappeared after that flirtation: should the proper authorities be notified?
So, what type of woman is drawn to a man in this game - and vice versa? I don't pretend to know the answer to that question. I know there is a 'type' of woman: a groupie of sorts. You could slap a simplistic label of 'alpha male' on the man and 'sub' on the woman, but it's more complex than that. The allure of font friends or pixel people is in filling the gaps with whatever you want to fill them with - or just leaving them blank. However, there is a subtle psychology underlining the process which is doesn't help to be unaware of (useful double negative): those who date online want 'distance' (geographical and emotional); and those who want distance can never be close. Nothing here can ever be, because nothing here, by default, was ever meant to be. "Such that I forget myself, and mistake the shadow for the real thing." [Dante].
Chat rooms are a micro-society. Now, a gold hammer in a MSN chat room draws women like a discarded Tampon draws flies in a heat wave, and it is easy to conclude that such women are 'power groupies.' But there is also a type of women who 'likes' to be abused: this is the classic 'type' of woman who is drawn to 'abusive' men in this game. Most women in abuse/insult chat rooms have a history of being in abusive real-life relationships which is critical to their presence in the room. A rather sad conclusion, and one I don't extend fully to message board forums; as a message board is a fundamentally different medium than a chat room, and will qualify the type of person who uses it. However, those not qualified by the medium - the non-descript, inept, occasional posters who are seen as groupies - fit this model perfectly. Fortunately, there is culture of not abusing women as viciously as one abuses other men. Sexist, sure; but a culture which allows the woman to feel 'safe' in the micro-society.
The pathological symbiosis inherent in the relationship between abused and abuser isn't just the basis of abuse/insult/flaming romance, it is present in many male to male relationships, too. I see posters like Squealing Bitch Bumstain as abused men; like women, they seem drawn to this unhealthy relationship through whatever psychological dysfunction sustains them.
Anyway, my lovelorn acquaintances, should you be foolish enough to search for love in this cesspool of un-aborted humanity, I offer you a questionnaire to submit to your tragic love object:
Brawl-Hall Pre-dating Questionnaire
All questions are mandatory
1. Do you have any major form of mental illness?
YES [ ] NO [ ]
2. Did you lie in your answer to the above question?
YES [ ] NO [ ]
3. Have you ever castrated a one-night-stand?
YES [ ] NO [ ]
4. Have you ever filed charges for date-rape?
YES [ ] NO [ ]
5. Was the picture you sent me of you:
Taken 5-years ago? [ ] Taken 10-years ago? [ ] Taken from a catalogue? [ ]
6. How is your real age calculated?
Multiply by three and divide by two [ ] Double it [ ] Better get a Pentium 4 calculator [ ]
7. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
Is frigid and a waste of time [ ]
Needs more time to adjust to the intimate relationship [ ]
Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus [ ]
8. How many sexually transmitted diseases do you have?
How many are there? [ ]
Lost count [ ]
Only syphilis [ ]
9. Would you insist on reimbursing all my expenses for the date?
YES [ ] NO [ ]
10. Would you have anal sex on the first date?
We can do it in the taxi [ ]
No, because I'm a selfish bitch [ ]
Of course, all women should [ ]
Hope this helps all to stay safe online. 8)
Cool Site: Insultmonger.com ::: The Art of Insults
