(Insults Across the World)
Funny Insults and Famous Quotes about ....
Africa
Arabs
Australia
Canada
China
England
France
Germany
Greece
Ireland
Russia
Unites States
Funny Insults and Famous Quotes about Africa
'Diarrhoea City' oh fuck yes, terrible place. You don't even have to eat anything for that. It's the dust from the camel shit. Once of the worst places I've ever been.
The name, which means 'my joy' in Amharic, seems peculiarly inappropriate.
The less said about massawa the better. It was one of those dark patches that are best forgotten.
The desert of Danakil is part of the world that the Creator must have fashioned when He was in a bad mood.
It looks as if it has been dropped, piecemeal, from an aeroplane carrying rubbish..
If there is any place where love is dead, it is here.
Funny Insults and Famous Quotes about Arabs
The serpent who seduced Eve spoke Arabic; Adam and Eve entertained each other in Persian, and the angel that drove them out of Paradise spoke Turkish to them.
I do not wish for camel's milk nor the sight of an Arab.
An Arab seeks the bath in vain; he will become no whiter.
Funny Insults and Famous Quotes about Australia
To live in Australia permanently is rather like going to a party and dancing all night with your mother.
Australia may be the only country in the world in which the term "Academic" is regularily used as a term of abuse.
So you're going to Australia? What are you going to sing? All I can say is sing em muck - it's all they understand.
The Sydney Opera House looks as if it is something that has crawled out the sea and is up to no good.
I find it hard to say if I liked the place, when I was there it appeared to be shut.
Pathological exhibits ... human scum ... paranoics, degenerates, morons, bludgers ... pack of dingoes ... industrial outlaws and political lepers ... ratbags. If these people went to Russia, Stalin wouldn't even use them for manure.
Funny Insults and Famous Quotes about Canada
You know that these two nations are at war for a few acres of snow, and they are spending... more than all of Canada is worth.
I fear that I have not got much to say about Canada, not having seen much, what I got by going to Canada was a cold.
I don't even know what street Canada is on.
Canada has a climate nine months winter and three months late in the fall.
I find that Newfoundland is said to be celebrated for it's codfish, its dogs, its hogs and its fogs.
The purity of the air of Newfoundland is without doubt due to the fact that the people never open their windows.
Quebec does not have opinions, only sentiments.
Montreal is the only place where a good French accent isn't a social assett.
Toronto as a city carries out the idea of Canada as a country. It is a calculated crime both against the aspirations of the soul and the affection of the heart.
Canada is useful only to provide me with furs.
This gloomy region, where the year is divided into one day and one night, lies entirely outside the stream of history.
Funny Insults and Famous Quotes about China
There are only two kinds of Chinese - those who give bribes, and those who take them.
It is like Chinese grammar.
I found the pearl of the Orient slightly less exciting than a rainy Sunday evening in Rochester.
He has Chinese luck.
Harbin is now being called the Chicago of the East. This is not a compliment to Chicago.
A kind of low-life Venice of the Orient.
The Japanese have almost as big a reputation for cruelty as do young children.
I don't greatly admire Japanese women; they have no figures to speak of, and look as if a bee had stung them in the eye.
A land of disappointments.
Funny Insults and Famous Quotes about England
The German originates it, the French imitate it and the Englishman exploits it.
I know why the sun never sets on the British Empire, God would never trust an Englishman in the dark.
An Englishman will burn his bed to catch a flea.
The English have no exaulted sentiments. They can all be bought.
Silence: A conversation with an Englishman.
What a pity it is that we have no amusements in England but vice and religion.
On a fine day the climate of England is looking up a chimney, on a foul day it is like looking down.
The ordinary Britisher imagines that God is an Englishman.
The English instinctively admire any man who has no talent and is modest about it.
England will fight to the last American.
Englishwomen's shoes look as if they had been made by someone who had often heard shoes described, but had never seen any.
Thirty millions, mostly fools.
English Law: where there are two alternatives: one intelligent, one stupid; one attractive, one vulgar; one noble, one ape-like; one serious and sincere, one undignified and false; one far-sighted, one short; everybody will invaribly choose the latter.
The English think that incompetence is the same thing as sincerity.
Poltroons, cowards, skulkers and dastards.
It pays in England to be a revolutionary and a bible-smacker most of one's life, and then come round.
All Englishmen talk as if they've got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips.
The English have one hundred religions, but only one sauce.
Among three Italians will be found two clergymen; three Spaniards two braggarts; among three Germans two soldiers; among three Frenchmen, two chefs, and among three Englishmen two whoremongers.
The English never smash in a face. They merely refrain from asking it to dinner.
The devil take these people and their language! They take a dozen monosyllabic words in their jaws, chew them, crunch them and spit them out again, and call that speaking. Fortunately they are by nature fairly silent, and although they gaze at us open-mouthed, they spare us long conversations.
The only time England can use an Irishman is when he emigrates to America and votes for Free Trade.
An Englishman does everything on principle: he fights you on patriotic principles; he robs you on business principles; he enslaves you on imperial principles.
Englishmen never will be slaves; they are free to do whatever the government and public opinion allow them.
It must be acknowledged that the English are the most disagreeable of all the nations of Europe, more surly and morose, with less disposition to please, to exert themselves for the good of society, to make small sacrifices, and to put themselves out of their way.
The English think soap is civilization.
To disagree with three-fourths of the British public on all points is one of the first elements of sanity, one of the deepest consolations in all moments of spiritual doubt.
The English public takes no interest in a work of art until it is told that the work in question is immoral.
Funny Insults and Famous Quotes about France
How can one conceive of a one party system in a country that has over 200 varieties of cheeses?
A small acquaintance with history shows that all governments are selfish, and the French governments more selfish than most.
France is a country where the money falls apart in your hands and you can tear the toilet paper.
The friendship of the French is like their wine, exquisite, but of short duration.
Paris is like a whore, from a distance she seems ravishing, you can't wait until you have her in your arms. Five minutes later you feel empty, disgusted with yourself. You feel tricked.
He lies like a French bulletin.
Only a dog or a Frenchman walks after he has eaten.
To speak French means not to have any sense.
A fighting Frenchman runs away from even a she-goat.
The Frenchman's legs are thin, his soul little; he's fickle as the wind.
The Italians are wise before the act, the Germans in the act, the French after the act.
Funny Insults and Famous Quotes about Germany
Two world wars and one world cup, doodah, doodah.
One thing I will say about the Germans, they are always perfectly willing to give somebody's land to somebody else.
Peace with Germany is like a wolf and sheep living together.
One German a beer, two Germans an organisation, three Germans a war.
God invented man, the devil invented the German.
Life is too short to learn German.
I speak Spanish to God, Italian to women, French to men, and German to my horse.
The Germans gorge and swill themselves to poverty, and hell.
With the Germans friendship make, But as neighbours do not take.
The German lies as soon as he becomes polite.
Wherever Germans are, it is unhealthy for Italians.
German is a language which was developed solely to afford the speaker the opportunity to spit at strangers under the guise of polite conversation.
The German may be as big as a poplar tree, but he is stupid as a bean.
Funny Insults and Famous Quotes about Greece
The Greeks - dirty and impoverished descendants of a bunch of la-de-da fruit salads who invented democracy and then forgot how to use it while walking around dressed up like girls.
Three Turks and Three Greeks make six heathens.
Realising they will never be a world power, the Cypriots have decided to settle for being a world nuisance.
Few things can be less tempting or less dangerous than a Greek woman of the age of thirty.
A crab is no fish, and a Greek is no man.
The Greeks tell the truth, but only once a year.
After shaking hands with a Greek, count your fingers..
A Russian can be cheated only by a Gypsy: a Gypsy by a Jew: a Jew by a Greek: and a Greek by the Devil.
Funny Insults and Famous Quotes about Ireland
The Irish are a fair people, they never speak well of one another.
An Irish homosexual is one who prefers women to drink.
The trouble with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, with absolutely no talent.
Put an Irishman on a spit and you can always find another one to turn him.
Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis.
The Irishman is never at peace except when he is fighting.
Funny Insults and Famous Quotes about Russia
Moscow, as I saw it once, is Horrorsville.
Los Angeles without the sun or grass.
A more lifeless, depressing city does not exist on the face of the planet. Even Siberians call this 'The End of the World'.
How can you tell a Russian? Go to sleep and he will rob you.
The Russian knows the way, yet he asks for directions.
Better the devil in your house than a Russian.
If a Russian tells you its dry, put your collar up.
The devil you can ban with the cross, but of the Russian you can never get rid.
Be friendly with the Russian, but take care that you have a rock ready on your chest.
Funny Insults and Famous Quotes about the United States
I am willing to love all mankind, except an American.
America is one long expectoration.
The American has no language, he has a dialect, slang, provincialism, accent and so forth.
Of course, America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up.
America is the only nation in history which has miraculously gone directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilisation.
If your going to America, bring your own food.
If I owned Texas and Hell, I would rent out Texas and live in Hell.
California is a fine place to live. if you happen to be an orange.
Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz.
It was wonderful to find America, put perhaps it would have been more wonderful to miss it.
All American writing gives me the impression that Americans don't care for girls at all. What the American male really wants is two things: he wants to be blown by a stranger while reading a newspaper and he wants to be fucked by his buddy when he's drunk. Everything else is society.
Their ... demeanour is invariably morose, sullen, clownish and repulsive. I should think there is not, on the face of the earth, a people so entirely destitute of humour, vivacity, or the capacity of enjoyment.
No one can be as calculatedly rude as the British, which amazes Americans, who do not understand studied insult and can only offer abuse as a substitute.
The American political system is like fast food - mushy, insipid, made out of disgusting parts of things and everybody wants some.
Frustrate a Frenchman, he will drink himself to death; an Irishman, he will die of angry hypertension; a Dane, he will shoot himself; an American, he will get drunk, shoot you, then establish a million dollar aid programme for your relatives. Then he will die of an ulcer.
The American male doesn't mature until he has exhausted all other possibilities.
I found there a country with thirty-two religions and only one sauce.
America ... just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable.
